Incident Report Critique

                I can clearly see the experiment here and I like it. The unnamed-yet-clear narrators bring a new flavor to the story. The dialect was spot-on, but its spot at the opening colors the piece somewhat, setting it up differently. Readers assume the school to be public with less educated kids. Given the slightly different and just as well done dialects later on (which was well executed), this was intended. One character might be stretching it a little in my opinion, which I marked (second page).  I think the character’s voices really shine through in the writing and they are almost visible to me even just reading their words. I am fascinated with the idea of different perspectives and the hint of a prior conflict between the two characters discussed, real or imagined. However, the story seems unresolved. Was there actually a conflict? There is no satisfaction in the ending, no catharsis, not even a sense of disappointment. There’s just emptiness. It almost doesn’t feel like an ending, like it’s unfinished. Beside the nature of the conflict, accidental or intentional, I am also curious about the students’ ages. Are they in high school? I thought the addition of mentioning Coach Trey and then having him speak was well-done, as it was clear who was speaking, but less was done with it than could have been. There seemed to be some tension between him and the boys, which was left discussed. I would have liked to read more.