Cynthia Critique

 I find it odd that the sentence "Cynthia doesn't particularly...doesn't like Cynthia at all" is placed so unassumingly in the first paragraph (not even the last line, but the second-to-last line), yet it is so telling once the reader factors in the events at the end of the piece. I wonder about the opening because, even though it segues nicely, it doesn't do much for the character or the piece except maybe create an interesting parallel with the two characters eating. It is mentioned that she has been away from home but neglects to mention where. I find the narration striking because for some reason the more thoughtful portions ("Probably more than she loves her own parents" and "Cynthia often wonders...Cool Ranch Dorito") seem so much like something out of a preteen novella to me for some reason (preteens always seem to be daydreaming and not loving their parents as much as they should). I would like to see a buildup of the adjectives describing Jill at the last sentence of the paragraphs, a new one for each paragraph, with the list growing (thin-lipped Jill...audible thin-lipped jill...deceiving audible thin-lipped Jill, etc. I like the detail that Cynthia deaf in her right ear but isn't developed and I can't help but think it'd be an interesting story. I think all the segues work really well and develop the characters. The last line works really well to sum up the staple of the characters.