Conceal or Reveal Critique

The opening of this piece creates a feeling of universality or simply ambiguity with the phrase “his or her, or her or her, or his or his.” I think this should be clarified and emphasized.   The characters seem relatable enough for it to be universality yet parts of the narrative are specific. After the depiction of the characters’ emotional distance, there is a hypothetical second person. From a zoomed in, intimate vignette of journaling, I find the phrase “like the news broadcast” disruptive, forcing the reader to zoom out once drawn in.  The specific mention of degrees, while hard to visualize somewhat, adds to the interesting parallel of abstract and distinct. The idea of being as revealed as presently comfortable contrasts with the characters’’ agreeing “to withhold their secrets.” While this illustrates a desire for complete acceptance at conflict with the fear of revelation, it is a bit confusing. What follows is statements of certainty coupled with an “or” which creates interesting parallel branches of narrative. However, the third scenario seems to have some pronoun discrepancies and becomes incomprehensible.  The ending is riveting, portraying the human desire to meet expectations but at the same time mentions an archetype, again zooming out. It’s hard to reconcile the image of a failing relationship that the participants are struggling to continue with the distance and superficiality portrayed. Also, the tendency to try to zoom out suddenly comes as a non-sequitur, as well as the entire second paragraph.