To start, I enjoyed the title. This
piece is very detailed, sometimes oddly so. In some places it works and makes
the piece a little more real but other times it distracts from the piece, as it
is unnecessary and adds nothing. For example, the mention of the leaves on the
tree never falling seems slightly eerie, but doesn’t create any suspense about
the stranger (not to mention, he’s only been on the island for 3 months and the
season wasn’t mentioned). However, small hints in the writing of the
disorientation of the men on the island are very immersive in their mindsets. There
was some trouble with the past and present in certain sentences, which I
marked.
The format of the
piece was a little confusing. I understand why the names were placed at the end
but once I forgot who was speaking and wondered why they mentioned the
footprints twice. I wonder what form the reader is supposed to assume- are
these letters? Are they written to someone? Would first person better
accomplish the ending.
I loved the twist
and did not see it coming at all. At the same time, I’m curious about the
personality split- could this have been prompted by some head trauma? Could one
mention a bloodied rock where he awoke after hitting his head when he appeared
on the island? It seems odd that Peter recognized the clothes while “James”
doesn’t but I would grant a willing suspension of disbelief. Could there be
more behind “James’” compulsive sorting? Overall, I enjoyed this piece very
much and would love to read more.
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